found out about the internship today. didnt get it. worst way to start my weekend. and we have casting calls tomorrow too. sigh. i have never wanted anything more in my life. i bawled for about 20 minutes after i read it. when i got back to my room i cried myself to sleep.
i know that this door has been closed for some reason. that it is a part of a bigger and better plan that i dont understand. now i got to start looking for other places to apply for. not something that i even want to do.