i am in the right area of life? will i make it in the world as an aspiring film editor/cinematographer/art director/whatever part of film i end up being? can i be someone who sticks out in the crowd, who is exceptional at my work enough so i can get jobs and pay the bills? am i confident enough to survive? who knows. i just hope that in the next year and a half i can figure it all out, or at least most of it.